


all alone

by Pearly_Pornography



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Gen, Origin Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearly_Pornography/pseuds/Pearly_Pornography
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does one become a witch?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hanako Morikawa - Gertrud

**Author's Note:**

> suicide warn for chapter 1

Below the arc of thorns she waited. Patiently, silently. Her lover came rolling out in his chair. 

"Hanako-san."

"Kei-san."

They were quiet. She nervously peered into the endless squares of growing roses. They were beginning to wilt. She twiddled her fingers together, incapable of coming up with any sort of conversation. "...It's almost winter, huh."

Kei's brow drooped, tears welling in his eyes.

"I want to kill myself." His state was deteriorating. Hanako reached for his hand, but he shifted, pulling back. "I wasted all of my time growing these flowers and now they're gonna die."

"They'll come back next year."

"...What'll I distract myself with until then?"

-

The question pressed on her mind for the next few days. Only when Kei attempted suicide for the first time in months did she become afraid. She wanted him to be able to do something, other than hole himself up inside waiting for her to come over.

She sighed, looking at the minuscule amount of money in her wallet. Not even enough to buy some winter flowers. Perhaps she could find him a new hobby? Needle-felting? Crocheting? She didn't want him to stick himself with the needles. Maybe a new pet? She was worried he'd neglect the poor thing. It was a shame she had gotten him into something so seasonal.

Kei feared he was unimportant. Hanako had devoted her entire being into proving otherwise.

Veering her gaze into an alleyway, she spots some sort of strange white cat. As it had begun to rain, she immediately stepped towards the animal. Even if Kei didn't want a pet, she would willingly take it in. The cat turned around, eyes wide and reddish. _Albinism?_ A rarity. She shook away the frivolous and rather harsh urge to shave it clean into round white cotton balls. Maybe needle-felting would be a good hobby for him.

"Here, kitty."

"Hello miss."

She nearly spat her green tea into the poor animal's face. Despite the cold rain she felt sweat creep below her scarf. Crap, was she becoming delusional too?

"Would you like to become a magical girl?"

It spoke. It repeated. "Morikawa Hanako." Its voice was small, but empty. It spoke and it knew her name. She shook her head and covered her ears. "This isn't an illusion. I want you to become a magical girl and in return, I'll grant any wish."

She blinks. Well, if this isn't real... It won't hurt to speak with the thing. Her eyelids flutter.

"Any wish?"

"No matter how frivolous or selfish."

She thought hard. She thought of everything she wanted. A mansion? No... Ah, this wasn't such a big decision. It wasn't even real. Something small would be fine, right?

"...Would you make flowers grow in Kei-san's garden all year?"

Without even asking if she was sure, her chest began to glow. The pain in her body made her realize she had, quite possibly, made a big mistake. She fell unconscious in the alleyway.

-

Fighting witches wasn't a problem for her, really. She would always keep going. Seeing Kei's smiling face, watching him sprinkle water into the flowerbeds. The roses burst forth in massive red waves. She would do her best for him.

She would do anything for him.

"I'm thinking of going back to school."

"I can accompany you, if you want." She smiled. "Aha, you've got a few little mustache hairs growing in on your lip. You could be a dashing man."

"...Is Andou-san still there?"

"Yes." She sighed. "He's turned over a new leaf now, though. He's probably ready to apologize."

"He scares me."

Another pillar of water dipped into the dirt. Roses red, like the bloody wounds erupting from Kei's skin when he'd go to school. Like the broken edges of his mangled legs as he tumbled from the highest floor of the building. 

"Well, I'll always be willing to bring you your homework."

"I could never ask for anyone better than you." His eyes were misty. "I feel bad that you've devoted yourself to me."

"I couldn't devote myself to anything else."

Perhaps such co-dependence was unhealthy.

-

It was another two months before Kei abruptly killed himself.

Hanako did not weep. She did not sorrow. She continued her normal life. Empty and hollow. Tired. Hurt. No purpose, no worth, nothing. She had poured too much of herself into him. His family moved away, the roses were pulled by the next family. 

Alone. Alone. Alone.

"Your soul gem is becoming dark."

"It doesn't matter."

"If you don't cleanse it soon--"

"It doesn't matter."

"...You really are unfathomable." Kyubey curls up on her desk. "I suppose that's entropy for you."

The room is becoming strange. The universe begins to shake as roots inch up the wall. The butterflies are here. Roses surround her. Roses, she missed the roses. As Kyubey disappears into the distance, her body twists. Her soul gem pierced itself, becoming a needle. A grief seed?

She stares down at her minions.

'Well, those roses won't grow themselves.'

Gertrud, the rose garden witch, awoke not with a start, but a slow flutter of the eyelids as the sun crept through her blinds. Her new home consumed all that was in its wake. Her family, her neighbors, everyone.

The roses bloomed.


	2. Kaoyo Kujo - Suleika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The daughter of a calligraphist who fears the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of these might be a little short. mostly these're about what their lives were like before they turned, and tbh Kaoyo turned to a witch through pretty natural causes, so it's not too long.

Kujo Kaoyo - now that was a name most people around would recognize. With her thick Tohoku dialect, old-fashioned name, and sour temperament. She lived in the country all her life. A move to the city was uninvited and unasked for.

She hated everyone, and worst of all, public school was a thing. 

A girl at the age of 15 shouldn't fear the dark, and yet here she was. And she made it very clear. She'd be locked in janitors' closets for hours, so terrified that she'd become silent. The shadows were following her.

Kaoyo-chan. Come closer. Hold my hand.

She was found many times, sobbing on the floor, covered in her own vomit. It was dark, it was too dark. She didn't say who did it because she knew they'd lock her away again. They'd laugh as she seized and the shadows grabbed at her clothes.

"Zuuzuu-ben," they'd call her. "fear of the dark."

In the emptiness of the closet, she saw him. Some sort of ferret. A sign? An angel? She shuffled over to him, face covered in all sorts of bodily fluid. A friend. A savior! She wanted to be saved! Help her! Save her!

"...Kujo Kaoyo."

She looked at the creature. "Can you hear me?" Her ears felt stuffed with cotton, but she nodded.

"Help."

"I can help." He cocked his head. "If you contract with me, I'll grant you any wish. Shall we discuss details, or--"

"Help me!"

"...I suppose we'll convene later on. What specifically do you want?"

"..." She went silent, hacking spittle into her hands as the darkness closed in. The darkness... the darkness! She wiped her eyes and lips, dark hair hanging over her pointed, angular shoulders as she hunched forward. "...Cure my fear of the dark."

"Easy."

-

Due to her psychosis, Kaoyo carried more grief than most magical girls. Sometimes, even right after cleaning her soul gem, she'd see the blackened mist at its base, creeping upwards like a spiderweb or moss on a wall.

She was unsure whether it was the product of delusion, or entirely real. Nonetheless, she didn't last very long. 

Suleika was a quiet witch. She lived in a dark home with dark friends. For Kujo Kaoyo was no longer afraid of that kind of thing.


	3. Momoko Tatsunoko - Charlotte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cancer patient who wants to eat cheese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iiiiiii did not understand rebellion, so im unsure as to whether or not Nagisa was supposed to be Charlotte, but?? this is original Charlotte. like, episode 3 Charlotte.

Everyone knew Tatsunoko Momoko was going to die. At this point, she wanted to. 

Her father had been an astounding pastry chef, but was also specialized in making artsy cheeses -- her favorite. She had always been a bit on the thicker side, subject to heavy harassment, but there hadn't been a moment where she really cared. She was the happiest woman in the country.

Genetics caught up with her. Cancer -- of the liver, specifically. Not that it really mattered where it was.

It was the treatment. The thinning, corpselike body, the yellowish skin, and most of all, inability to eat cheese.

It was silly. She wished she had a form of coping that wasn't a food, but... she loved cheese. More than most of her family, her few friends, her pets, probably even herself. A source of joy stronger than any drug, or any relationship. And it was gone.

She felt alone. 

She hadn't been to school in a month now, and was living on hospital scraps, and constantly in pain. She cried and cried and cried. Her chest hurt. Her heart broke. And she heard their conversations. The tears and the sobbing as they learned she wouldn't last. She was wasting away, slowly. She felt like she was dying. She. She. She. She was hungry, she missed cheese.

Maybe cheese was her version of happiness.

-

She made a mistake.

As the pale moonlight peeped through her window, her bald head scraping against the pillow, she knew any day could be her last. Maybe Kyubey was a delusion. She called him her friend. But she spoke to him wrong.

He came in every night, asking if she'd like to be a magical girl.

"Tell me more about Jean D'Arc." 

"Why? It won't make you happy. You said so yourself."

"Well, it'd make her happy."

"You don't make any sense. Why not just contract to make her happy?"

"Oh, no, I wouldn't wish for something like that..." She blinked. "...It'll all be worth it, right?"

"Fighting witches is a mere trifle."

It was trivial. She should've wished to live.

"I wish I could eat cheese again."

-

The heart rate slowed. It slowed it slowed it slowed. As they stared into the electronics, buzzing through her chest. She could feel the despair slipping. She didn't want to die. Not here, not now. Her pale yellow irises were misty. They all knew she wouldn't make it. She felt too conscious and it hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt.

She clenched her fingers around her loose soul gem. It was so black it looked like a dark sea. The tears covered her face.

Take me away from here.

Her heart felt as though it were imploding. The poor dessert witch Charlotte, who could only make sweets, longed for cheese. However, instead she was hidden away in a glassy hospital, surrounded by tubes and injections, always in pain.

She felt like she were trapped inside herself.

She felt like she were trapped.

So she trapped the doctors with her.


	4. Eri Yunokawa - H.N. Elly (Kirsten)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hikkikomori who seeks validation.

"Eri-chan."

Knock knock knock.

"Eri-chan!"

The door opened a sliver. A dark eye nervously peered from the darkness. Even through such a small opening, Makiko could smell the filth and squalor within. "Eri-chan, I brought your groceries, and... this place smells terrible."

"Sorry."

"It's not my problem, you're the one who lives here."

Eri lowered her head. An odd, black stone sat between her twitchy fingers. Makiko rolled her eyes, dropping the groceries inside the door. "I'm gonna clean your house if you won't do it, you know."

"Don't."

She shrank into the door. The sound of a soda can clattering behind her heel accompanied it, her greasy, black hair further covering her face as her head sank into her bony shoulders. Makiko, defiant as ever, pushed her way inside. The room was dark, face-down open manga books sitting on the floor. A torn "Love Live!" poster drooped like a wilting flower, occasionally interrupted by Eri's drawn and waving curtains.

Something felt different since the last time she came.

"Eri-chan, your favorite poster tore." 

"...Erichika..."

"Yeah, uh, that one." Makiko sighed. "I'm gonna clean this place."

"I said don't."

"Why not?"

"I-I-I..." She whined. "I'm forcing you to."

"...What? No you're not. You're my friend, and I--"

"I made a deal with someone. That I'd never have to leave my house again." Her heart felt tight, Makiko could see it in her posture, the way she twisted her foot into the ground. "It was a wish. It was a miracle, he... He rewrote the future. All for me."

"E-Eri-chan, you--"

"And now I'm, I'm this!" She presented an egg-shaped stone, swimming with what reminded Makiko of static. "And now you've devoted yourself to keeping me alive, as long as I fight all the monsters that come into my home. And there's so many, and you wouldn't even be helping me if I hadn't made that wish! You're under a universal hypnosis! I've put you into a trance and you don't even know it!"

"You're not making sense!"

"I just wanna die! I'm a terrible person! That stone, it... it used to be a beautiful bright red..." She shook her head, covering her face. "I made such a selfish wish, and now you can't... you can't leave me..."

"Eri-chan, I... I don't know what you're saying, but... you're my friend, and I forgive you."

Something about the wall seemed different. It was waving, shuddering with an abnormal sort of light. 

"Ichiro-san..."

"Call me by my first name."

Eri slunk behind her TV, and as the screen broke into millions of glass shards, Makiko only heard one more thing.

"Makiko-chan, please run."

The world shattered. The carousels went around and around. Makiko ran towards her deteriorating friend, who sank into the broken TV. She was an idol, with wings, and hopes, and dreams. The electricity grabbed onto Makiko's body, pulling her into a glass box.

She felt light on her feet as her wings carried her upwards. She could carry all of Eri's troubles, just like every other one of Eri's devoted family members and friends who became angels in the turquoise sky.

_That was fun. I want to do it again. Next time, I'll bring a bentou._


	5. Ikue Hiragi - Albertine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A middle school girl who can't do anything but draw.

Ikue loved to draw. She loved it more than her family and her friends. She was a moron, willfully ignorant, never thought or did much. She was attractive, but rejected any man who made advances. Art was her one true love.

She could draw nearly anything in her own special way. She could draw in paints, crayons, pencils, inks, chalks, charcoals, markers, and even things that weren't made for art to begin with. She could be an architect, a sculptor, a portrait painter, but her favorite job was being a surrealist. She woke up in the morning and spent almost the entire day flooding her sketchbooks with sky-whales, swimming birds, space caterpillars, tardigrades on bicycles.

At night she was a queen with a pencil. Her wish? "I want to draw anything." She could. She could fight with a drawn line. She was powerful and daring, not afraid to create. IQ of negative one, but the power of many. She was strong, but dumb.

Her folly was as simple as her mind:

She almost never cleaned her soul gem.

Not because she didn't want to. She was too dumb to remember. Not to mention it was common for other magical girls to swoop in and reap the rewards of her hard work. Not that she really cared, it was in her very nature not to. Back home she loved to draw, and play hide-and-go-seek.

"I'm here again." She stood in the playground with kids much, much younger than her. "Let's play again."

With joyous cries of "Icchan! Icchan!", they gathered around. Her thick blonde hair stood out at both ends, and then she took her pencil. She could draw anything, yes, anything. The lines came up into a glorious hedge maze.

"Try and catch me!"

She ran through the maze of sketched hedges and concrete. The oldest boy was counting as the others ran to hide, deep within its mystifying coils. She wanted to get lost in her own world. But the further she went, the harder she'd be to find. And she stayed beside a parked car trapped in the concrete walls, breaking the window and crawling in. She was gonna win again. She was so good at this game, so, so good.

Minutes passed.

Minutes turned to hours.

Hours turned to days.

Frankly, Ikue couldn't even tell she became a witch, and that the children had forgotten to find her, and left her behind. But the maze, the car, the hedges, the kids, and most of all, Hiragi Ikue, was consumed by the growing blackness in her soul. Scribbles and doodles and sketches made up the body of Albertine, a beautiful princess who loved to draw and was great at hide and seek. But everyone in her barrier was so very, very naive.


End file.
